Wow! What a weekend...........

Not sure how I am going to articulate this, but I'll try.

I just spent the weekend at Emazon Central with a group of fantastic women.
The weekend started with a bootcamp on a very, very steep hill - yucko! Not fun at all. It was good when it was over, and glad that I did it, but very hard during.

The remainder of the weekend was spent with Emma and Mark at Emazon Central. Those of us who have participated in Stand Your Ground courses before had a refresher of our fighting strikes, while the "newbies" learnt the basics from Emma.

The whole weekend really kind of merges into itself and I can't remember which things happened on what days.
I do remember being the most affected on the Saturday. I finally released. I finally had a good cry about my Dad. I won't go into the nitty gritty cause it's all still so raw, but I am confident that I have learnt the skills to deal with these emotions and cope with the grief. Now, I just need to be consistent.

I have come away from the weekend physically and emotionally drained. I only have 3 knuckles that aren't split, I have bruises on my shins from my roundhouse kicks, bruises on my elbows from elbowing the bags and bruises on my knees from kneeing the pads.
Basically I am bruised inside and outside.

I felt so vague today, really doey and weird. I really wish the whole weekend had been video taped so that I can go back and watch what had happened so I can remember all we were taught. I guess I just need time to process it all.

Managed to take some progress shots today, even though I didn't feel like it. BUT, i've made a commitment to doing it once a month and it's due today :)

I'm pleased with my progress, I can really start to see the difference in my shoulders/chest/upper abs/back.............now just for my stoopid butt and legs to catch up!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrr

Time to look after me

Got my blood test results back yesterday - all clear..................mmmmmm, definately thought something would come up.
Have been having head-spins, feeling dizzy, tired and generally just blah. My Dr was convinced I was anemic, but apparantley not. He was very impressed with my results and said that everything was normal or better than normal.

Soooooooooooooo his answer - stress. I was quite upset when he first said this, because it seems that everything that is wrong with me is stress related, which means - I am doing this to myself!
He told me to go home and think about whats been happening in my life over the past two months and see if anything could have affected me and made me feel stressed.

So I did that, and I had come up with quite a few actually:
* Not being happy at work and taking a month off from my long service leave so I can just get away from the place and figure out what I want to do
* Brining my Dad's ashes up from Sydney, very hard time!
* Renovations at home
* Family issues/disagreements
* My 30th birthday party

So maybe it is stress? Maybe now that most of these things have settled down, things might start to improve? He has told me that I need to look after myself. Eat right, make an effort to exericse, try some yoga etc.
So thats what I am going to do. I need to make a real effort to look after myself and if the issues are still there, then I can go back and we can explore other possible causes.

So here's to 2010 being the year I put me first

Progress Shots

Well................haven't posted for over a month! Whoops!  Have had sooooo much going on lately, what with Christmas and my 30th Birthday Party. Not that these are excuses for not making a lot of progress over the last month, but thats whats happened.

My new progress photos don't show much change (if any at all), but I have committed to taking monthly shots and will do so.

So here is my front on pic, first one is Dec and second one Jan

Then onto the back view

 

Side view

Biceps

Now here is a picture thats shows the difference of a few kgs, just to make me feel a bit better about how far I have come

So now that Christmas and my 30th Birthday are done and dusted I have no excuses not to find the time to exercise.

I did the stairs with Nicky yesterday and feel re-focused.

Promise to blog more regularly :)

New progress shots

Well, it's a month since I started this blog, and I promised monthly progress photos, so here they are!

I started this blog on the 21st Nov at 61.9kg, by the 30th Nov I had somehow managed to get up to 62.3kg!!!! This morning, I have weighed in at 60.2kg. So over the month I have lost 2.1kg. I was hoping for the around the 3kg mark, but I am ok with 2.1kg, better than nothing and certainly better than gaining.
As far as the progress photos go, I can only notice the changes in my stomach, nothing else really. Which is a bummer!

So here are my front pics:

Here are the back view ones (only thing I can notice is my new LJ singlet tan!)

Here are my side ones:

And heres one of the guns, just for fun!

So reasonably happy with the first month, would have like more weight to come off and more noticeable changes in the pics, but I can't say I have been following my training program 100%. Lucky I have been doing a lot of renovations and landscaping and gardening around the house though.

Until next blog...............

Bit of an emotional day

A while ago I decided that I would bring my Dad's ashes up to QLD to be here with me. I would build a beautiful Balinese style garden (Dad loved Balinese Gardens) and pop his ashes in a pot.
That way he could be here with me and I could go and talk to him whenever I like.

So last week I made the phone call to the cremetorium and arranged to have him retrieved and posted to me.

So I've been prepping the garden bed and on Sunday I went and bought all the plants that I wanted to put in the garden.
Yesterday I planted the plants.

Yesterday I also received the little Australia Post ticket to say that there was a parcel waiting for me to collect. I knew what it was. It wasn't going to be my Secret Santa gift cause she only posted it yesterday. It was going to be Dad's ashes.

So this afternoon I went and bought a beautiful wine coloured ceramic pot plant and then off to the post office I went.

It was Dad's ashes. It was so hard reading the plaque:
"Allan Edward Connors
15 May 1955 - 18 May 2001
Loving Husband to Kerry
Devoted Father to Lauren and Sean
Forever in our hearts"

Gee, I'm all teary just typing that now! It was so hard reading it. I've never seen it before, as horrible as that sounds. Mum arranged for the wording of the plaque and I have never been to his grave. I refused to go the day of his funeral and have not visited him anytime I went to Sydney. I planned many a time to visit him, but just couldn't do it.

Tomorrow is going to be an even harder day I am guessing as my brother is coming over after work and we are going to bury him together in the pot.

I am then going to plant a beautiful white rose bush for him, I always remember him saying that he would have loved a white rose bush at his grave, so I'm going to give it to him.

Monday - weigh in day

Lost 1kg last week - yay! It's amazing how those stupid scales control your mood isn't it? I have made one positive step though, and that is moving the scales from my ensuite into the main bathroom so I can weigh once a week only. It's going to be tough, but I have to make myself do it!

Training is going ok, not doing nearly as much as I should be and I have decided to sit down today for 10 mins and plan my week of training. Rather than just walking into my gym and saying to myself "mmmmm, what body part shall I work today?". If I have something in front of me and know what I am meant to be doing I am more likely to stick to it. So thats the goal this week, get 6 training sessions in. Should be easy! I'm on holidays!!!!

Quick Update

Just a quick one to say that I am still alive, but have just completely forgotten about blogging!

Am on holidays doing heaps of stuff around the house. Haven't been doing as much exercise as I had planned, but I am going non stop with various things like gardening/wheelbarrowing rubbish to the skip/moving furniture etc. Not a good excuse I know, but better than doing nothing at all.

I had colonics yesterday (sorry for the gross topic!), but I am hoping that this will help give me a fresh start with my IBS. She said I was pretty "backed up" and require a couple more treatments to be fully cleansed and feeling the benefits.
So if it helps me, then it's something that I will continue to do.
Am planning on also going to a Natropath while I'm off and having some blood tests and see if a food intolerance is causing the IBS. May as well get myself sorted for the new year!

Today went and had a consult with a plastic surgen for a boob job. Looks like it might all go ahead, but not until May next year cause he has a very long waiting list. Not going very big at all, just to a full C cup, he advised me to not go too big cause I am so petite up top and it will just look stupid, but said I need enough to make me proportionate to my hips. So I'm very excited/nervous/scared all those sorts of feelings.

So as I said, just a quick update. Will try and update a little more whilst I am on leave